1. BE STRATEGIC

So you're keen to expand your social life and find new friends and romance. You're on for a blind date. That's great, but you need a strategy if you're not to waste time and money and possibly risk your personal security. On that note, don't give out your telephone number or address, or even your surname, until you feel comfortable. A reputable introductions network like The Circle will give you the opportunity communicate by letter via their office for as long as you want.

2. AVOID EMBARRASSMENT

There are a lot of lesbians out there looking for what you have to offer.

But how do you find the ones that are likely to interest YOU?

It can be a bit hit and miss, can't it? Embarrassed, bored, uncomfortable . . . that's how you feel if you find yourself stuck for an evening with someone who interests you about as much as a slab of concrete.

3. GET THE LOWDOWN FIRST

The secret is to find out as much about the person BEFORE you meet - reading between the lines in how they describe themselves on paper and on the phone.

Finding out their age, the colour of their hair and eyes, their height and weight, and where they live, simply isn't enough.

4. QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS!

Here are some basic bits of information you need before you make a decision to meet, in no particular order.

Obviously, there's no point in interrogating your possible date like a crazed Gestapo agent.

But there are ways of bringing the conversation around, perhaps by volunteering information about yourself first.

If you have joined a reputable introductions network like The Circle, you'll have no need to ask any of these personal and potentially awkward questions, though, because they'll all be answered on the profile you've been sent.

• Is your possible date available or attached? An important one, if you're looking for an enduring romance!
• Do they want what you want from a relationship? There's not much point in meeting if you're looking for a permanent partner and all they want is a little leggie.
• Are they employed? Their job will tell you whether they're solvent and may give you an inkling of what sort of person they are - adventurous, sporty, intellectual, caring, etc.
• Do they have any children or pets? If so, could you cope if you ended up as an item? (You may be allergic to children, or pets, or both!)
• Do they own their own home, rent - and how about if they still live with Mum?
• Do they drive? Because if not, is it going to be feasible for you to meet?
• What about intelligence? This may matter to you, it may not. Ask the right questions - whether they went to university, for instance - if you care.
• What about religious convictions - could you tolerate an evening of being Bible-bashed? If not, find out first!
• Their political persuasion may have a bearing on how likely you are to get on. Perhaps you're both bored by the entire topic. But what happens if you find out too late that your date is a rabid Tory, while you are a born-again Marxist?
• You will have your own views on whether you can tolerate smokers. If you can't, you're not going to enjoy yourself if you get fugged-out, nor is your date going to appreciate being asked to smoke by the back door.
• How about drinking - is your date likely to end up drunk under the table? Will you be joining them there, or fuming over an orange juice?
• Last but by no means least, what about hobbies and interests? It's better to know beforehand. A shared passion for hang gliding or ornithology could give you a flying start in the conversation stakes.

5. LOOKS CAN COUNT

What does your date look like? This is a two-edged sword.

The Circle includes photos in its profiles because we believe this puts the flesh on the bones, and gives members that little bit more of a feel for the person they're interested in.

It's great to have a photo before you meet, if at all possible. At least that way you won't gasp loudly when you see their two heads and webbed feet!

But don't judge people by their photo too quickly. Remember all those people you've ended up fancying that you wouldn't have looked twice at the first time you met?

6. TAKE GOOD CARE

So you've decided you've got something in common and you want to meet. At this point, personal safety has to come into play.

The rules are simple: meet in a public place, and tell a friend or neighbour where you're going and when you expect to be back.

7. TAKE IT EASY!

The big day is here! You probably feel a little nervous. It's fun, it's exciting, but you'd have to have a very big ego not to feel slightly apprehensive!

The answer is to relax and simply think FRIENDS! If you approach your date as if all you want is a friendly chat, you'll avoid all the most common no-no's:

• Showing off (namedropping, boasting about your car, your lovelife etc.) in a desperate effort to impress.
• Hogging the conversation and/or wittering on nervously because you're scared of silences.
• Unburdening about your ex, your physical ailments or your social phobias because you want to create fast, false intimacy.
• Getting tense/intense and making yourself look broody and difficult.
• Clamming up out of shyness.
• Avoiding eye contact and giving the impression that you're removed and distant.

8. YOU'VE DONE IT!

Congratulations! You've come through your first date and your strategic approach paid off. You found out enough to be pretty sure that you'd like each other. You relaxed and had an enjoyable evening. You may be on the path to true love. If not, at least you've made a great new friend!

For a free brochure and information about The Circle's social events and holidays, send an s.a.e. to The Circle, PO Box 240, Tunbridge Wells North, TN1 1GQ.